You don’t deserve my overthinking

I rained thunderstorms seeking the thrill of high tides while you lazily glow moonlight onto the quiet ebb and flow.

you reflected a kind of dimness that I can’t decipher. Left a silence that I don’t allow.

The emptiness threatened me to act nonchalant.

But inside, you cleverly beguiled me into a frenzy.

It didn’t take me long to catch on.

Sugar, you can’t fool me. I am not the bare skinned ones you chase. I know what I am worth.

-Doris

You

how dare you leave the petals behind

tripping me as i go through the day

smelling flowers that aren’t there

i’ll give you props for leaving bits of yourself

Here with me

Making me smile

Absentmindedly…

don’t know how many strangers on buses

Wonder who this silly girl is

Smiling to herself

But sweetheart, I can’t have

Your honey eyes, wine-like cheeks and sleepy grin occupying my mind. I have work to do.

You know I am the swoony type. I am at a disadvantage here.

-Doris

Captured

Cause you are the same,

Living a life through 35mm

For all you know,

The moment is just to the right of that lens flare.

you have me confused, sprinkling metallic silvers of grain.

said you are going for the look

But I found you lost in someone else’s mise en scène

Could be that I don’t get it all

How we tried to be clever but is still stuck in chichés

I increased my brightness and you are in a rush to intensify the contrast.

Babe, you are ruining my aesthetics.

-Doris

No longer BLUE


the hours i spent 

in that coffee shop

smelling the tendrils of familiarity

immersing myself in the comfort of strangers’ conversations 

and feeling the warmth from the embrace of my oversized sweater. 

seem to sway the movement of the clock. 




i was looking at myself through the eyes of a little blue girl i knew a month ago.

i wonder how she could spent the whole day without worries. 

she stares out the window occasionally, smiling to herself 

she talks to herself softly while she does her readings 

she stays until the streetlights blur the raindrops trailing on the glass. 

does she know everyone in the room could hear her heartbeat?

how it beats to the rhythm of happiness.

it is assuring to know that she is no longer blue but basking in warm heated beauty

-Doris

Chapter 1

January Overview

January overview.jpg

Look of the month: dark eyebags, glowy skin, rosy cheeks.

Song of the month: I do  Holley Maher

This month I have been:

*Getting regular 7-8 hours of sleep

*Realizing how soft I am and how I need to find a balance in between.

*Falling in love with spaghetti.

Quote to represent this month: “You can just tell when people lose that spark for you”

Total cries this month: 5

Stress Level: 12/10

Crush Status: “You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.” – Franz Kafka

Favourite journal spread this month:

16492260_758914347594986_110572976_o.jpg

Okay… so I know I haven’t been posting for the whole entire month of January.. It has been dramatically busy for me  to juggle loads of homework at school, prepare for tests, apply for scholarships all due on the same day and worry about when I am getting my acceptance letters from universities.

But… I just received an admission letter yesterday from my dream school so now a lot of my stress has been lifted.

Apologies for only one post for January.

-Doris

2016 loves

Woahokay, why is another year over… but anyways, Happy New Year my sweethearts! I am embarrassed at the on and off posting. My sleep schedule got all messed up and I was frantically trying to stay awake for my school life that I decided to take a breaks. Although, all my university applications are in, I still have to keep up my grades as well as write all those scholarships essays. I planned great things for this new year though, but well… let’s see how I do aha. Here is a master list on all the things I loved in 2016. Perhaps, some of these things can be your 2017 loves. Enjoy!

Goodbye 2016.jpg

1. This super cute video… you can’t help but smile. Watch it.
2. Book: “Unwind” by Neal Shustman <I read this book after seeing a fan-made short film. I don’t recommend the whole series though, just the first book. I thought it dragged on for too long. >
3.  Movies: “Breakfast at Tiffanys” and “Roman Holidays”. Rewatched these two lovely films starring Audrey Hepburn.
4. Music: Aquilo <The British duo has voices that makes me swoon. I adore everyone of their songs>
5. Book: “One Past Midnight” by Jessica Shirvington <This book made me cry>
6. Podcast: The Skinny Confidential: Him & Her podcast. <Before TSC had a podcast, I was already a fan. But the podcast reeled me in even more; Lauryn and Michael has a way of including the audience in their conversation. They are authentic and fun to listen to. I am excited about Tuesdays because of them.>
7. Feeling: Suffering with a nice soundtrack. <Ya feel me?>
8.The Studyblr Community. <I am immensely grateful for them. They inspired me to love subjects I hate in school. Who knew studying could be fun?>
9.Feeling: When you go in for a hug and the person is extremely hug-able so you don’t let go and sink into them… and they let you because they know you are craving some physical touch.
10. Music:
* “I can’t make you love me” -Bon Iver
* “Little Lover” – Broadhurst
* “Heartbreak”- MDWS
* “Sweetheart, What have you done to us” – Keaton Henson
* “Nothing Hurts Like this”- SLO
* “Is it Love” – 3LAU
* “Gemini Feed” – BANKS
-Doris